My brother made the mistake of taking my littlest one, Joy, to watch Up in 3D, with her cousins. At three and a half years old, my Joy still hasn't gotten into the groove of watching a movie all the way without running around, and was even less prepared to deal with large objects leaping out of the screen at her. I am told some crying was involved.

But I am always game for the kids to try new stuff so we now know Joy is not ready for 3D movies yet.

I watched a 3D movie myself recently. It was G-Force, the movie about secret agent hamsters. It was a so-so movie - fairly funny in bits, with some pacing problems. I did enjoy that chase scene with the transparent hamster ball vehicle with guns though.

I cannot believe I just pointed out that a 3D movie about secret agent hamsters had "pacing problems".

You cannot go wrong with hamsters, I suppose. All that cuteness in 3D would make you forget the lame plot and bad jokes.

My biggest beef though, was with the 3D glasses. They only come in One-Size-Doesn't-Fit-All. My wife was happy with hers but I have a somewhat broader face and I ended up spending most of the movie holding up my glasses. It kept slipping down my nose and giving me a massive headache.

All this for an experience that you have to pay a few extra bucks for. If I was feeling annoyed and uncomfortable, I feel sorry for those of you who wear prescription glasses. How would these things fit over your regular glasses?

Outside the cinema, there was a sign that warned you not to lose or break the glasses or there would be a charge of $150.

Holy Cyclops! One hundred and fifty smackers for this piece of ill-fitting plastic? Does it give your patrons the ability to shoot lasers from their eyes? Does it cure blindness? Will I be able to look through the clothes of women?

For the discomfort these infernal 3D glasses put me through, I should be charging them $150 for the migraine they gave me.

Of course we know why studios are pushing out 3D movies in all shapes and sizes. People need a new reason to go to the cinemas these days because they can already watch movies on the full glory of their wide-screens at home, with Blu-ray sharpness on a 52-inch LCD TV. And watch their movie in their underwear if they so desire.

For now, most of the 3D fare has been confined to science fiction, horror, and animated movies. But I won't be surprised if they get desperate and start churning out dramas and romantic comedies in 3D too (imagine watching Katherine Heigl's vibrating underwear scene from The Ugly Truth in exciting 3D!).

Maybe next year, the Prime Minister's National Day Rally will be in 3D too. It seems to be getting more and more high-tech every year anyway. It would be like PM was in your living room, speaking to you, in three languages.

It would so real, you will even enjoy the experience of falling asleep with some of the other audience in this three-hour extravaganza that dominates all the free-to-air channels once a year.

They've already done that hologram waste-of-time effect on CNN's US Election coverage, so the technology is in place. So how about it? National Day Rally 2010 3D!

But I hope PM will let us know if he plans to throw objects at the camera or point a spear at us to make a point during his 3D speech. I may be busy adjusting my badly-fitting 3D glasses when he does. So give us a 3D signal first, ok?


About mrbrown
mrbrown aka Mr Kin Mun LEE is the accidental author of the popular Singapore website, mrbrown.com, and has been documenting the dysfunctional side of Singapore life since 1997.

Affectionately known as the Blogfather of Singapore, his readers follow his writings closely, which these days range from current affairs, his family, and even his trips abroad.

Currently, mrbrown also hosts the mrbrown show (mrbrownshow.com), probably Singapore's best known comedy and satire podcast.

mrbrown is married to Ginny, his long-suffering wife for 12 years, and is father to three lovely kids, Faith,  Isaac and Joy.